DREAMING OF SLEEP

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Truth: I am exhausted. Running entirely on toddler high fives and iced lattes and sheer adrenaline – the high that comes with creative exertion. I used to be one of those people who fell asleep within ninety seconds of my head hitting the pillow. Then, within the course of a dizzyingly short time span, I became a business owner in a creative industry, and the mama of a precious and precocious little boy. And all of a sudden, I find myself lying awake at night – not for lack of fatigue – but because my mind is on overdrive. All. the. time. Goals and to-do lists swirl around in my subconscious as I try desperately to coax my mind into dreamland: how do I grow the wedding side of my business? How do I market myself effectively to my ideal clients? How do I keep up in this field of round-the-clock creatives if I’m only able to work when my son is sleeping (i.e., next-to-never)?

How do I regain some semblance of work-life balance?

Entrepreneurs everywhere know this last question all too well. When your day job is your calling, and your office is just steps from your living room, it can be a challenge to create boundaries for yourself. Creatives are always creating; it’s a natural reflex, it’s how we see the world. Layer on top of that the beautiful mess that is parenthood, and it’s a wonder any of us get any sleep or time for ourselves, switched off and sans bébé.

It’s a double edged sword, this entrepreneurial existence. I have so much gratitude that I’ve made it to this place, but I fear that if I allow myself to slow down, I will make space mentally for fatigue to settle in; I will feel it more viscerally, I will lose momentum. Maybe all the sleeping babes I photograph, like beautiful little Harper, here, will share some of their beauty rest by osmosis? Something tells me it doesn’t quite work that way…

(Be sure and enjoy Harper and her green slippers. Elle est si jolie…xo.)

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